This is one of those wanky about pages where you’re supposed to write in the third person about yourself, in an attempt to sound intriguing, mysterious or vaguely interesting. I’m not going to do third person and you only have to follow me on Twitter to realise that I’m neither intriguing or mysterious. So here’s the lowdown…
I left home at a young age citing irreconcilable differences as the main reason for the break up. I spent the first decade of my adult life indulging in the seediest parts of the music industry and quickly made a name for myself as a music journalist. Possibly not a good name, but a name nonetheless. I got paid for a long time to go out and get drunk and listen to heavy metal. Sometimes I got paid to stay at home and get drunk and listen to heavy metal. I managed to get drunk often enough to eventually become editor of a youth lifestyle and music magazine. A fun time was had by all.
If you read my blog before it met it’s untimely end you’ll know that I escaped a particularly shitty relationship after several attempts on my life and subsequently the abduction and attempted murder of my youngest child at the time. You’ll also know that I’m unapologetically Aspergian and I don’t like hugs. You’ll know my best friend committed suicide and that it fucked me up pretty bad. You’ll know I have nine kids, seven by birth, most of them adults now. I now have only four school-aged kids. Along the way I’ve spent time as a bouncer in a hellishly rough pub, been a gun-toting security guard and worked as a screw for a couple of years. If you mess with me, I’ll take you out… as long as you let me put down my crochet first.
In my 30s I got married and became respectable. I accidentally launched a business that became the biggest of it’s kind in Australia. I became a workaholic with a pretty ugly love of money. By 2009 I was getting bored with the superficiality of business life and decided it was time for a change. The GFC agreed with me and kicked our arses big time. On December 17th, 2009 I became homeless with 9 kids and a tent – and there I stayed for 2 months.
2010 saw me go from homeless and destitute in February, to opening my first orphanage in September.
Now in it’s 5th year, Foundation 18 consists of an orphanage for 14 abandoned girls, an education outreach program which pays for the food, clothing, medical and education of another 89 children. The program provides over 5,500 meals each month for children who would otherwise go without. We also provide medical outreach to anyone in need of urgent medical care and food and funeral expenses for the elderly. In 2012 we launched a fair trade women’s workshop to help women escape from slave conditions, forced prostitution and domestic violence.
In 2014 I made the ridiculous decision to pull my kids out of school and travel around the country while homeschooling my kids.
I am obsessed with the TV show LOST.
I’m a hardcore crochet ninja.
I recently lost 50kg. I’ve given up most of the things people can’t live without – alcohol, smoking, pharmaceuticals. I have an autoimmune disease which occasionally causes me to have mini strokes just for LOLs. I’m a recent convert to the Paleo way of living and my drugs of choice are now Yoga, meditation and picking up weights and putting them down again.
I’m in a new relationship, with an amazing man who might best be described as “me with a penis and curly hair – except a bit shorter”. I am doing my best to be the best Buddhist I can.
I’m not a saint by any means. I have a surly disposition and can fit the f-word into an average sentence seven times but as long as there is poverty or injustice in the world, you’ll find me working 16 hours a day to do my bit to fix it. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but I’m over the need to be anyone other than me.