B is for Bailey
When I decided to “give up the good life” for a life of giving, I was painfully aware of the effects that it might have on my children. We thought long and hard about how much our children might have to do without.
I know I’ve been called selfish by people who believe that a parent’s highest priority should be to ensure that their children have the best of everything. The generation that needs their children to “never have to go without like they did”. I know I’ve also been called selfish for going to Indonesia for 3 weeks and leaving my children at home and that I shouldn’t be gallivanting around the globe with my children at such a tender age.
For the most part, I’m not overly interested in other people’s judgments of me in this regard. They don’t know me, they don’t know my family. People who know me well know that I am my children. Without my children I am an empty shell and my children have always been, and will always be, the most important thing in my world.
I pondered over the last week that the intention of this blog was to document the process of starting an orphanage and show everything that happened in my life from the actual initial first thought – right through to project realisation. By my own definition this blog is now defunct. I have proved that ordinary people can do extraordinary things. The process wasn’t as smooth or as pretty as I had hoped and given the benefit of hindsight I wonder whether I would have been quite so eager to invite you all in.
I have publically humiliated and embarrassed myself on these pages a number of times over the last year. I’ve bared my soul for all to see at some of the worst times of my life. I have been aware that in doing so my children may have become “victims” – subject to bullying at school because their mother was publically homeless and ranting about injustice like a mad woman.
It’s fair to say that I thought A LOT about all the bad that could come from what I was doing. Anyone that assumes otherwise doesn’t know me at all.
What I didn’t consider so much, was what good could come.
When my 14 year old son commented on my blog and told me he was proud and then invited all his friends to do the same – and they did – was one of the most fabulous moments of my life. Last night was another.
My 13 year old son, Bailey, is special. He came into this world with a hell of a beginning and there have been times in my life where I didn’t think I could continue to raise him. We never imagined that Bailey would be able stay in a mainstream school. And, in fact, there were times where Bailey’s behaviour was so disturbing that I feared for my own life and those of his siblings.
One of the many reasons that we fought so hard to stay near our children’s chosen schools were the specialist programs they offered our children, and while we have moved our younger children to a closer school we still make the 1 hour commute each day to take our high school kids to this fantastic school. Bailey is in an academic excellence group. His group specialises in performing arts.
Last night his group presented a special performance and we made the hour long trip to watch him perform. It was an artistic and creative performance full of interpretive dance & movement and each child in the group delivered a monologue. They were challenged to present what made them who they are – what made them creative.
One after the next the children came forth and congratulated their parents on sharing their love of cooking, fashion, music and art with them, some had travelled foreign places, another struggled with arthritis.
This is the only photo I have, taken in the dark on my phone. It kinda adds to the artsy-ness of the evening though 
With Bailey’s permission, here is his monologue which he delivered to an auditorium of guests and all of his peers:
I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I was kidnapped when I was a year old. I have little money and was recently homeless. At my first primary school no one accepted me as a normal person. These events have contributed to who I am today. These events have also made me more aware of the important things in the world like people without food, clothes and shelter. I am now involved with collecting money with my mum to help build an orphanage. All this making me a more loving and wise person with a big imagination.
People have told me I’m inspirational. There is no way at 13 years of age that I would have ever had the courage to stand up in front of my peers and say these things without a sense of shame or embarrassment. I wouldn’t have been able to say them at all.
So much thought was put into what our children might go without, and so much has been argued about what they have lost. No one really ever spent time focusing on what they might gain.
I have never been more proud of my children and I am, just this once, allowing myself to be proud of me. I wish someone had given me that confidence when I was a child.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Wow. No wonder you cried. You should indeed be proud. There is no greater gift to the world than to raise a child who can contribute to the world. You should be proud x 9! Bailey is a star xx
[Reply]
Congratulations to you both. Beautiful story…
[Reply]
Reading this has given me goose bumps. Good goose bumps. You have every right to be proud of yourself, of your family, and of your achievements.
Coralie´s last blog ..Clothes swap parties
[Reply]
truly, you and your family are very special
x
[Reply]
Wow! What a special kid. And what a gift you have given him Cate. Amazing!
[Reply]
I have tears in my eyes
thank you for sharing
i’ve admired your strength and coirage every step of the way and I admire you for your honesty 
[Reply]
Wow! Just Wow! It’s true that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree! Bev xxxxx
Bev Rolt (TrendyKidz)´s last blog ..Baby Fairy Princess Set 7 – AU2500
[Reply]
I think that your children DO have the best of everything that MATTERS. What better gift to give them than to truly consider your actions as a parent?
xxS
Sharon´s last blog ..The Versatile Solution for Modern Blogging
[Reply]
I’m sitting here crying. What an amazingly special moment.
Thank you, Cate, for sharing that and reminding us that raising children is NOT about giving them all the material things in the world. It’s about being a great example and giving them worthwhile values on which to build their lives.
Megan´s last blog ..How
[Reply]
Cate,
I’ve been following you for a while, especially on twitter and I am delurking for the first time to say that F*** what other people think. Your kids are a credit to you and material possessions are nothing in comparison to the real life lessons you are living by example. We are not silos, we should care for one another and do what is within our means. We SHOULD try harder, we SHOULD sacrifice. You are an inspiration to the people who matter most, your kids. Kudos to you lady, really!
Cat.
x
[Reply]
Well, reduced me to tears, but I’m a complete sook when it comes to the way our kids can inspire us. You’ve reminded us how things that we see as challenges are often the very things that our kids recognise as their greatest ‘superpower’.
[Reply]
Beautiful. Amazing stuff. Amazing kid. Amazing mum. xx
Annie´s last blog ..From bottoms to Botox & beyond … it’s all here
[Reply]
What a wonderful story, Cate. You have a very special son, who clearly loves his family and his life.
Fuck what other people think…oh, right, you already do!
N x
[Reply]
Cate what a fantastic story, i found it truly inspirational. Someone recently said to me after having problems with my own childrens mental health that a great parent is not the one that kids sail through school and have it easy, a great parent is one that stands by there kids shows them the road to take and when they get off it put them back on it and teach them life skills, i think you have done just that.
Well done to you!!
[Reply]
*sob* Pure indigo. xxx
[Reply]
I have butterflies in my stomach reading that! So inspirational! Thankyou Cate & Bailey for sharing….
[Reply]
There are no surprises here at all. I’ve watched from afar (well as far as twitter
) and have admired and been inspired by your family, your whole familyfor a while now. B is for Bailey. And C is Courageous – something you both show in bucketloads xx
[Reply]
Oh, that is just so wonderful!
I have goosebumps and a lump in my throat. x
Thea´s last blog ..Politicians
[Reply]
Bailey rocks
[Reply]
Now that is one very wise and thoughtful kid – I see him doing amazing things with his life, things that will make a difference. Kudos to you and Rick also for gently guiding him, not pushing him, along his way.
xo
LisaNReynolds´s last blog ..LisaNReynolds- @babyrabies Ive used up my boys & girls name too – if we ever have another he-she will probably remain nameless – Good luck!
[Reply]
Wow Cate
As far as what parents can give their children, there are so many things more important than material possessions. Compassion, confidence in themselves and the drive to make a difference are among the most important, in my opinion. And you have clearly blessed your children with these.
Blessings to you all.
katmay4´s last blog ..Education revolution or education rewind
[Reply]