There’s This Saying About Apples & Trees…

And I have to say, I think it’s a load of crap. I once hired a girl because I admired her father and thought by default she might have a similar work ethic. I was sorely mistaken. She turned out to be the laziest thing I’d ever employed, which is a big call.

As parents I think we’re always recognising the things in our children that remind us of ourselves, or our partners. Random people on the street will even tell you “gee doesn’t he look just like his dad?” on the brave assumption the man standing next to you is actually his father. What is this need we have to broadly assimilate children with their parents? And it seems we’re not fussy how we connect our offspring with their parents – we’ll even settle for their less attractive qualities. I like the lyrics to the Ben Fold’s song Still Fighting It “and you’re just like me – I’m sorry”.

So, what’s my point? I’ve copped some flack in the last few days. Honestly, I expected that it would only be a matter of time. I have no problem with constructive criticism, whatsoever – I welcome being challenged by a diverse range of opinions and welcome the ability to grow. Unfortunately those well-meaning contributors are usually followed by a parade of pointless detractors who want to shoot you down, just for the very hell of it. And then there are the people who just welcome the opportunity to get pissed off at other people’s positivity. I’m sure we’ve all been guilty of this at some stage – turned off a radio or TV because the presenter was just too bloody happy for our liking at that particular moment. I’ve done it… in a mood.

I’m surprised however of the reaction that I’ve received to one particular action I’ve taken. I mentioned in my “Bigger Than Me” post that I’d been cutting up clothing and other unused fabric items to recycle the fabric into new things that could be sold to help fund this crazy shenanigans we’re planning here. I also mentioned in my previous post “Somewhere Around the Middle” that I had found great success from making wedding items – the sort of success that employed many people and kept my family eating for 10 years.

Take One Wedding Dress

We don’t own a lot here, so there’s not a lot to cut up – but I had no qualms in sitting down with my daughter and taking a pair of scissors to my wedding dress. Apparently others did. And those others included my eldest son.

Living, to the extent of my abilities, by the principals of Buddhism means that I don’t value objects or possessions the way most others do. Sure there are days I look at my wearing couch and wonder how much longer it will last, and a Wedgwood china catalogue could probably still make me salivate if I tried, but to me my wedding dress (which I made myself for under $60)  is was just a piece of material. I assembled it myself with care & excitement because I was engaged in preparing for something of emotional significance to me. My daughter and I disassembled it with the same level of excitement because I recognised its potential to contribute to saving a child’s life. What better way to honour the sanctity of marital union but to use the remants as a tool for change?

“But there are some things you just DON’T do!” was my son’s argument. I could barely find the words to argue the point with him as I searched my brain trying to find where in my 18 years of motherhood I could have possibly planted such a seed of whimsical sentiment. I could barely justify explaining my perspective as the inner glow of pride overwhelmed me that, if nothing else, I had raised a man who was in fact, his own person. The son of a conservationist who does not believe in climate change.

Add an afternoon of Mother-Daughter bonding, teaching skills my mother taught to me.

I guess there are some things you just don’t do. Each of us chooses what those things are. Being angry at your child because, even though they share your vision, they don’t share the means by which you choose to achieve it, is not one of them.  Neither is giving up on a plan to make a difference because someone wants to shoot you down whether constructively, destructively or just to boost their own ego.

Combine with recycled pillow filling & 2m of ribbon = A vehicle on which to carry the symbolic commitment of another couple, and a contribution to saving a child's life.

Until next time, be good to yourselves, be good to your earth and live with PASSION!