A Little Oompa Loompa Wisdom

Today is my one and only daughter’s birthday. Six years ago today we made the trip to the hospital (again) to take delivery of the most precious gift any person can ever receive – a child.

Ailish was especially special to us, with a family of 7 boys the odds of us ever being blessed with a daughter were truly stacked against us. So much so that in the early stages of the pregnancy my obstetrician said to me “if this is a girl, I’ll deliver the next one for free”.  It was, but I didn’t hold him to it.

We vividly remember the trip to the 20 week ultrasound to a) check the vital stuff and make sure the baby was ok, and b) determine the sex of the baby. Yep, I cried. I don’t think I really believed it but I was so overwhelmed with joy, I was willing to hold onto it. When she was actually born amongst all the delivery room confusion I remember Rick looking at me like an idiot when I actually asked “is it really a girl?” My obstetrician referred to her as “the miracle baby”.

I don’t know why I wanted a daughter so badly; I guess it’s just one of those things that only I can understand. I love my boys more than life itself and if you asked me, still today, I would tell you I was made to mother boys. But I think as a mother, I just needed to have a daughter. She completed me.

Over the next days, weeks, months, years more photos were taken than I can even care to remember. I spent almost all my time in the hospital taking photos of this little miracle baby. She was perfect – as all babies are. They haven’t broken anything, including your heart, at this stage. The thrill of child birth carries you long enough to not care that you haven’t slept. They are just perfect. We named her Ailish – an Irish form of Alice, after my grandmother. Ailish Catherine Grace.

Over the coming years Ailish was the “apple of our eye” – and when I say “our” I don’t just mean myself & Rick, I mean the whole family. The boys doted on her and anything and everything she ever wanted – she always got. If she wanted a book read, she would get a book read by someone. If she wanted a cuddle, or to be carried, or to sleep in someone’s bed – she got it. If she went shopping and she wanted a drink, or a treat, or a toy – she got it.

We were so in love with this little girl that none of us, adults and children included, had the strength to ever say “no”. Twelve months ago, our little girl who we nicknamed Princess Ailish from birth, was now being called Veruca. “I want a golden ticket, Daddy… I want it NOW” We were horrified that she would start school and those who weren’t as invested in Ailish as we were would just think she was a complete and utter bitch.

Fortunately for us she started school and she was as loved at school as she was at home. She’s still a diva and she has a knack of getting her way, but she wasn’t anywhere near the problem we expected her to be. Regardless what we had created in this little girl was a monster, and it was completely self-inflicted. Ailish was one of the biggest contributing factors to making the decision that it was time for our whole family to start “going without”.

I’m sure if you’re a mother you can probably relate to a lot of what I’ve said here, you’ve probably experienced the intense, uncompromising and unconditional love that a parent has for their child. Now look at your own child and imagine knowing that you can’t feed them, they will never go to school, and if they live through childhood, they have a greater than average chance of either dying in childbirth or from a preventable illness or disease. Imagine you gave birth to that child in Indonesia and the only way for that child to survive is for you to walk into a crowded street and leave them – alone, hungry, scared – in the hope that someone will take care of them and give them the life you can not.

Yesterday I took Ailish and one of her special friends to Australia Zoo. We went on Robert Irwin’s birthday which happens to be the day before Ailish’s and we had a great time. When I picked up her friend, who handed her a neatly wrapped gift, Ailish said “Oh wow, I was so excited about going to the Zoo, I completely forgot that on birthdays sometimes you get a gift”

I remind you, that only 12 months ago this was a child we called Veruca.

We’ve been through some tough times lately, a lot of them are partially due to some tough decisions we’ve made as a family to attempt to live a better life. A lot of them though, have been just pure-ass bad luck. None of it however, compares to how things might have been if I wasn’t born in Australia, the luckiest country in the world.

This is a timely message, coming up to Christmas. I know I can’t afford to give my children gifts this year. I’m still holding on to a glimmer of hope that I can at least buy them “something”, but they know that birthdays and Christmases are no longer about gifts. I’m watching others around me stressing out about how many shopping days are left, “Johnny wants this, I have to find it for him” and “how the HELL am I going to fit the turkey in the oven, with a pork, chicken, duck, and roast lamb?”

So I say to you, our future is in the hands of our children. The only way we will save this planet is by putting our faith in the next generation and giving them the tools they need to act like superheroes. Are you raising Veruca Salt? Or are you raising Wonder Woman? It’s your choice.

Check out my Wonder Woman on the new Planet You website – we’re very proud of you… Princess Ailish. Happy Birthday, Baby.