I’ve neglected the blog of late, I’ve been lacking in much to say. I know, hard to believe!! It’s probably really more a matter of “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” – my mother taught me well.

Fortunately (or, unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) I did promise at the dawn of this blog that the account that I give of this process would be a true and accurate one, and that I would share the ups as well as the downs. This is where I struggle, because I’ve made an art of displaying calm waters when I’m paddling madly under the surface. I’ve even been called “serene” …I’m not sure how well those people knew me LOL.

So let me just start by saying this isn’t meant to be a woe-is-me rant or a plea for sympathy, its just bare bones of what happens when you decide to give up stuff and try to change the world. I know I’ve been grumpy on Twitter, and I guess this is why…

Reality is a funny thing… one can imagine what some things might be like. If you have the ability to show empathy and compassion for others, then if you try hard enough you can attempt to visualise how you might react to certain situations, the reality of it is that until you get there, you really don’t know.

When we kicked off on the crazy crusade we did feel we were in a reasonably strong position with our little business and that we had enough cash coming through to keep us afloat. I said from the start that material possessions were not important to me, so going without things would not be a big deal. I also said that I believed in the concept that the universe provides for those who provide for others.

All of these things are incredibly easy to say when you have a home, you have 2 cars, you have 3 meals a day and while you don’t necessarily yearn for the latest in nick-nacks, you’re not really inclined to let what you do own go.

So now here we are 5 months into this life changing experience and for the most part our business has failed us spectacularly, freelance work is sporadic, at best, and the debts are mounting by the minute. Last Thursday we had a repo man buzz the intercom at about 3 minutes past 5pm. I know what time it was, because if you’ve ever been in debt you know what time they tend to call. I looked at the clock on my computer and my heart fell into my stomach. Without warning or advice the bank had come to repossess both of our cars.

I don’t blame the bank; we haven’t kept our payments up to date which we are contractually obliged to do. I do think it would have been cool for them to communicate with us prior to sending someone to pick them up, but at the end of the day, the fact is we just cannot afford to have those cars anymore. This is awkward primarily due to the fact that we have a whole bunch of kids who need to get to school every day, and we live 8km from one school and about 30 from the other. There’s no public transport available where we are and it turns out we owe more on the cars than we are likely to get if we sold them. At this stage, I’m still working on the miracle solution. We have been given some time to get this sorted out but it’s only a matter of weeks before we lose the cars and we find ourselves in a really difficult situation. I’m not entirely against the concept of a horse & wagon, but Cobb & Co don’t seem to have a local office on the Sunshine Coast.

The awesome thing about our lives now is that due to a lovesick teenager who ran our mobile phone bills into the heavens, we no longer have to avoid pesky calls because they have been disconnected. Bless.

None of this, I’m sure, would be particularly welcome at any time in most people’s lives, but it’s been bad timing on account of the fact that hubby, Rick, has been diagnosed with some potentially life threatening heart issues. I’m sure those of you that are married to men will understand how damn stubborn they are, and how badly they neglect their own health. I’m going to get into all manner of trouble for writing about this, but perhaps if I put it out to the great community you all can also nag him about getting back to the doctors ASAP to find out what needs to be done, instead of hiding behind the “we can’t afford it” lame-ass excuse!

Other revelations…

• Running a charity is really bloody lonely. Maybe it’s just me, maybe I don’t have the ability to put my passion on the shelf long enough to still live a normal life. I dunno. I don’t think you can do what we’re trying to do as a 9-5 occupation. You have to be passionate and when you’re passionate things start to piss you off. I was deluded enough to think people would agree that this was a great cause and want to help out, apparently they do agree … but they’ve got other stuff to do. I’ve had a lot of people over the last 5 months tell me I’m “inspirational”. My question is, “Am I? Am I really?” What have I inspired you to do? What have you changed in your life on account of me? If I’ve inspired you in any way, then do something. I don’t care what it is that you think you can’t do. This is not about me, or my family, this is about saving starving children who have no other hope. If you’re all as inspired as what you’ve told me, send me a message and tell me what you can do. If you aren’t prepared to take action, you are not truly inspired. Lip service will not feed anyone.
• Secondly, there’s a lot of strength to be gained from reading about other people who have achieved amazing things all over the world. When you get down, you don’t have to look very far to find someone, somewhere in the world doing something awesome. Check out this story my brother sent me regarding an inspirational Malawi boy
• And lastly, the government doesn’t do things at the rate at which you would like them to… ever. This is the Australian government I’m talking about… you better bet your bottom dollar the Indonesian government isn’t going to go any faster. Suck it up and get used to it. The official Project 18 Inc website is finished and waiting to go, as soon as the government says it’s ok to go ahead and launch.

So, there it is. If you’re all waiting for me to say “sorry guys, it turns out this is all too hard” then I’m afraid you’ve come to the wrong blog. This is hard, it’s really friggin hard, but ya know what? It’s only going to get harder, and I’m not about to quit.

Sorry I’ve run longer than I’m supposed to (again), thanks for reading if you got this far.  Until next time – be good to yourselves, be good to your earth and live with passion!

Blessings,

Cate